Loving Well Under Stress
- Natalie Cooney
- Feb 23
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 20
This year will be 15 years with my partner. We found one another young and somehow have survived chronic illnesses, deaths, losses, moves, and raising ourselves. We come from vastly different homes, cultures, and families. Not unlike many of the couples I work with, communication seems to always be the linchpin to our success through rupture and repair.
Rupture and Repair is the process of moving from misattunement, betrayal, hurt, and towards reconnection, ease, playfulness, and being our beloved’s biggest ally in whatever they are dealing with.
Ruptures happen in all relationships. Ruptures are the trailheads to the growth, depth, and loving-kindness that humans crave. But the road from rupture to repair requires awareness, the ability to listen and empathize, and the willingness to shape a different dance.
As Somatic Attachment Therapists, we know that rupture is usually a result of stress. Stress is not the problem; it is how humans react to stress that hurts one another. The common trope: “When under stress, we regress,” reigns true. Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn run rampant when stress increases and can wreak havoc on relationships, children, and our bodies. Our world today is an unfortunate reflection of nervous systems that are stuck in reactionary impulses that have catastrophic consequences.
Let this letter to you be somewhat of a love letter to you. We see you, we know how hard life is right now, we hear the silent screaming, the shutting down, the rage, or the impulse to flee it all. If you need help with your threat response cycle, we can meet you with a lens of compassion and know how to help you become who you want to be. Let us be on your team if you need.
Our relationships need to be safe havens, now more than ever. The reality of rupture is counterbalanced by leaning into repair—swiftly and with humility—so that everyone can return to “rest and digest.”
May your repair with yourself and others lead to connection and care, to security and strength, and to being allies working together to handle the stress.
Tons of care and support,
Natalie
Meet Linda Rankin (She/Her)
AMFT 148140
Linda can help with:
🩵 Shock trauma (including kids)
🌊 Inner Child Healing
🌙 Chronic Pain
✨ Grief & Loss
🌷 Inner Child Healing
Currently Open for Telehealth in California + In-Person SAN DIEGO, CA
Individuals, Teens, Relationships + Couples
Supervised by Natalie Cooney LMFT#94578
Meet Jessi Eckert (She/Her)
AMFT 153766
Jessi can help with:
🌿 PTSD
🌼 Trauma/overwhelm
🦋 Pregnancy and Postpartum
🫧 Relationships
🌤️ Parenting + Parent/Child/Teen relational work
Currently Open for Telehealth in California + In-Person SAN DIEGO, CA
Individuals, Teens, Relationships + Couples
Supervised by Natalie Cooney LMFT#94578
Meet Grace Willow (She/Her)
Grace can help with:
🌿integrating spiritual experiences
🌼 embodiment therapy
🦋Shadow work
🫧people pleasing
🌤️Self-worth
✨Somatics-Hypnotherapy-Ketamine Assisted Therapy
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