How Presence is the Magic✨
- Natalie Cooney
- Jan 28
- 4 min read
Shed those LAYERS,
You got this.
As we start a new year in the wheel of life, presence is the counterbalance. Presence is the correction, the alchemy, and the magic we need to catalyze our lives. Nature, through the winter season, tries to beckon us towards a pause for presence. When was the last micro-dose of softness, connection, or true full-hearted presence with yourself? With others?
We need presence and pauses to alchemize what we, our neighbors, and our world are experiencing. It is presence that helps us digest what is, and it is presence that facilitates mindful and fully conscious action.
Presence matters now more than ever. The nervous system evolves and repairs when we have pockets of sweetness between the demands of life, and especially after any exposure to trauma. Yale research studies on parenting found that when parents were told to just sit next to their children after a stressful day, no advice, no tasking, no pushing for homework, no questions—just presence, the part of these children’s brains that regulates emotion had increased activity!!
Presence = regulation, conscious action, digestion, wholeness.
Yale’s Minding the Baby programs also confirm this. When mothers are taught to listen to their baby’s signals and reflect (in a symbiotic signal-response loop), secure attachment increases, and the baby is set up to have a lower chance of chronic conditions. I also LOVE the study on how the perception of danger, threat response, and the experience of fear decreases when hand-holding is the intervention.
Pockets of sweetness, a glimmer of juicy connection, and the seeds of presence have a ripple effect on stuck survival stances. These pockets of “no effort needed” presence loops also impact how we absorb nutrients in the gut, and how we feel about ourselves.
Again: It is “presence with” that helps us digest what is, and it is this same “presence with” that facilitates mindful and fully conscious action.
The research on presence and co-regulation highlights what somatic therapists know deeply; safety is first FELT in the nervous system. It doesn’t have to do with performance, tasks, or effort. It comes from closeness and presence that doesn’t demand performance.
So snuggle up to your favorite person and just be. Check in with yourself; listen and respond to your own signals from a place of compassion. Breathe deeply and anchor to your power when you encounter productivity culture or dehumanization through mindless violence.
Take a pause for presence. Shed the layers of efforting. If you want to learn more or work with a therapist check out our blog or just click one of our buttons below to get started.🌿
with love and kindness,
Natalie
Owner/Creatrix of Compass Healing Project
LMFT • SEP • Certified Sex Therapist • Supervisor
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