Finding Rest and Fun This Summer: Why Rest Looks Different for Everyone

Summer in Carlsbad and San Diego immediately reminds me of beach days, bonfires, packed calendars, sunshine, cool breezes, and great food. While summer can be a wonderful time to reconnect with nature, it can also bring pressure to stay busy, productive, and social as adults, especially since the Southern California weather can give summer vibes year-round. As therapists who have been living and working in San Diego for some 15+ years, we see high levels of stress and burnout because the lack of rhythm in the weather can mean a lack of rhythm in our calendars–and alas, a recipe for our nervous systems to get stuck in the “on” position.

What if this summer we went back to the basics?

What if instead of trying to do more, you gave yourself permission to rest?

For many people, rest is not as simple as taking a nap or spending a day at the beach. Rest can feel uncomfortable, unfamiliar, or even impossible. If your nervous system has spent years, ahem, or decades, operating in survival mode, slowing down may feel harder than staying busy. It can feel even unsafe or dangerous.

The good news is that rest does not have to look the same for everyone. And the smaller the dose you start with, the safer it will feel. 

This season of life–whether this blog finds you in the middle, beginning, or end of a summer, you have an opportunity to discover what true rest means for you.

Rest Looks Different for Everyone

When people hear the word "rest," they often imagine sleeping in, lounging by a pool, or taking a vacation.

While those activities can be restful for some people, they are not the only forms of rest.

For one person, rest may mean spending a quiet morning while it's still cool and not crowded, walking along the beach in Carlsbad.

For another, rest may mean gardening, surfing, painting, reading, playing with your kids, or spending time with close friends.

Some people feel restored through movement. Others feel restored through stillness.

The question is not, "What should rest look like?"

But instead, "What helps my body feel safe, settled, and connected?"

True rest is not about following someone else's self-care routine. It is about listening to your own needs. 

Rest for me sometimes is just reading on my couch a good romantasy, or sitting on my deck between clients and watering my plants, I also feel a lot of rest doing a morning or evening routine that includes meditation, journaling, stretching, or preparing my morning cacao. 

I, too, had to start small and learn about rest that was unique to me, especially as someone who identifies as neurodivergent and as a trauma survivor. Ketamine Assisted Therapy, now offered virtually in all of California and in-person in San Diego and Carlsbad, was a game-changer as far as training my nervous system to have more parasympathetic (rest and digest mode), more accessible. 

Why Rest Can Feel So Hard

Most of us have or currently carry stress in our bodies without realizing it.

Work demands, parenting responsibilities, financial pressures, oppression, the economy, caregiving, relationship challenges, and past trauma can all keep the nervous system on high alert. This is normal. Things are tough right now.

It's also true that when the body feels an impending doom and the need to stay prepared for danger, slowing down will likely feel uncomfortable.

You might notice:

• Shaming or blaming yourself for resting when there is more to be done

• Constantly checking your phone but wanting to put it down

• Difficulty sitting still or choosing a restful activity

• Feeling restless/anxious during vacations

• Trouble sleeping

• Always looking for the next task to complete

These experiences are often signs that your nervous system has become used to operating in survival mode. Don't worry about fixing this immediately. If this sounds like you, your body may be trying to protect you from something you are not ready to face. Trying to mend this on your own could cause unnecessary pain and suffering. 

If you feel ready to start a healing journey, contact a trusted somatic therapist in California to ensure you begin healing with support and guidance.

Understanding Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, and Rest

Our nervous systems are designed to help us survive. If we are constantly in states of intense stress and despair, our bodies will shut down. There are internal failsafes to protect us from this.

When we sense a threat, our bodies can move into survival responses such as:

• Fight

• Flight

• Freeze

• Fawn (people-pleasing or over-accommodating others)

These responses are not bad. They are natural protective reactions.

The challenge happens when the nervous system gets stuck in these states long after the threat has passed. Think of it as an inability to settle or return to safety. You stay there. You stay with the threat.

Many people in today's fast-paced world spend much of their time in a low-level fight-or-flight state. It seems like there is no time to process and settle; we must keep moving.

This can look like:

• Constant busyness

• Anxiety

• Overworking

• Irritability

• Difficulty relaxing

• Feeling overwhelmed

The nervous system also has another deeply important state of existence: the parasympathetic response.

This is often referred to as the "rest and digest" state.

When we access this state, our bodies can:

• Relax

• Recover

• Enjoy hobbies and nature with deep passion

• Digest food more effectively

• Sleep more deeply

• Connect with others on a genuine level

• Feel present and at ease in the moment

Rest is not laziness. Rest is a biological need.

How Somatic Experiencing Supports the Nervous System

Somatic Experiencing (SE) is a body-based approach that helps people understand and regulate their nervous systems. This is a fancy way of saying you can find true peace and safety within yourself.

Instead of focusing only on thoughts, SE helps people notice what is happening inside the body. If you think about feelings, they don't usually exist in your head. Deep sadness and pain can be felt in the chest or an ache in the gut. SE wants to address this, to shift it.

This might include paying attention to:

• How your breath feels, if your chest feels tight or open

• Muscle tension, is your jaw clenched?

• Physical sensations, breathless, sweaty, strong

• Feelings of safety, or fear

Many of us starting this journey are surprised to discover that our bodies have been carrying stress for years. There is a whole world inside of us that we have been neglecting.

Through Somatic Experiencing, people learn how to gently move out of chronic fight, flight, or freeze states and build greater capacity for calm, connection, and resilience. These responses are not the enemy, and they don't go away forever. 

The goal is not to force relaxation, but to invite safety and rest into the picture. Acknowledging these stress responses as information and protection, and as they come in, they serve their purpose, and they leave.

Rest as Resistance

Choosing rest is an act of rebellion.

Our culture often celebrates productivity, achievement, and constant activity. Labeling people who rest as lazy and entitled.

We are encouraged to hustle harder, accomplish more, and stay busy.

Many people have learned to measure their worth by how much they produce. This is not even close to how most humans have functioned throughout history. This is a by-product of capitalism. Human beings were never designed to work without pause.

Rest challenges the belief that your value depends on your productivity.

Rest says:

"I do not have to earn my right to slow down."

"I am worthy even when I am not performing."

"My body deserves care."

Choosing rest in a culture that glorifies exhaustion can be a powerful act of self-respect. An act of defiance to the people who exploit the hard work of many and rely on this mentality to function.

Rest becomes not only a method of healing and self-care but a form of resistance against unrealistic expectations and chronic stress.

Finding Restful Places in Carlsbad and San Diego

Living in North County San Diego offers many opportunities to reconnect with your body, nature, and support your nervous system.

Try to think of places where you've felt more grounded, connected, and at ease. Center your relaxation around these spaces.

The Beaches of Carlsbad

There is something naturally regulating about the rhythm of ocean waves. The sounds, the open space. 

Whether you enjoy walking, searching for shells, sitting, reading, or simply watching the water, Carlsbad's coastline can offer many chances to slow down and reconnect with the present moment.

Instead of focusing on exercise or productivity, try noticing:

• The sound of the waves

• The feeling of the sand beneath your feet

• The temperature of the air

• The colors around you

• The open wide spaces 

These small moments of intentional awareness can bring a sense of peace and right-tight a connection with yourself and your life. You are more than what you produce.

Batiquitos Lagoon

Batiquitos Lagoon is full of peaceful walking trails surrounded by nature.

Spending time in natural environments has been shown to reduce stress and increase a sense of organic joy and peace.

Notice what happens in your body as you walk. If you're feeling overwhelmed, look up at the sky and soak in the wideness of the world and the openness of the outdoors.

Do your shoulders relax?

Does your breathing change?

Can you feel your feet making contact with the ground?

What ideas are present? 

Quiet Cafés and Bookstores

Rest does not always require solitude.

Being around others in a calm environment without feeling the need to engage directly can feel deeply nourishing.

A favorite coffee shop, outdoor patio, farmers' market, or local bookstore can become a place to slow down without feeling isolated.

Local Parks and Open Spaces

Many people underestimate the power of sitting under a tree, listening to birds, or enjoying a walk in solitude.

Rest does not have to be expensive or elaborate. It could be the start of a new habit or ritual. Something to look forward to during a tough time.

Sometimes the most effective forms of restoration are the simplest. Especially because they are always there for you.

Fun Is Part of Healing Too

When people think about healing, they often focus on serious work. Resurfacing and processing old wounds, changing habits, less TV, more books, stop smoking, and eat healthy.

But fun is also deeply important.

Play, curiosity, creativity, and joy support nervous system regulation. This is where we flourish, this is how we enjoy our lives. 

Ask yourself:

• What did I enjoy as a child?

• What activities make me lose track of time?

• What helps me feel alive?

• What can I do today that will feed my soul?

For some people, fun might look like trying a new hobby like paddleboarding or body surfing. 

For others, it might be taking an art class, exploring a farmers market, dancing, hiking, or spending time with friends, or carving out some alone time to enjoy your favorite book and a glass of wine and chocolate.

Fun is not a distraction from healing.

Fun is part of healing.

Giving Yourself Permission to Rest This Summer

You do not need to earn rest.

You do not need to finish every task before allowing yourself a break.

You do not need to justify caring for your nervous system.

Whether your version of rest involves ocean walks, quiet mornings, movement, creativity, community, or simply taking a deep breath, your needs are valid.

Summer can be an invitation to slow down and reconnect with yourself.

Start Somatic Therapy in San Diego, CA

If rest feels difficult, know that you are not alone. Many people struggle to access the calm and connection they long for.

Working with a Somatic Experiencing practitioner can help you better understand your nervous system, build resilience, and create more space for rest, joy, and presence in everyday life.

This summer, consider giving yourself something that often gets pushed aside: permission to pause.

Your nervous system may thank you for it.

Other Services Offered with Compass Healing Project

Somatic experiencing therapy in California is not the only service offered by Compass Healing Project. We offer a variety of mental health services, including couples and relationship therapy, First responder and family therapy, Clinical Sexology, and embodiment practices. Each is tailored to help with anxiety, depression, PTSD, grief, sexuality concerns, and relationship issues. To learn more about our services, visit our blog or connect with our therapists in Golden, CO.

About the Author

Natalie Cooney (she/her) LMFT CO .0001680  is the Lead Therapist, Director, and Clinical Supervisor of Compass Healing Project.  

Natalie is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Certified Sex Therapist, Psychedelic Assisted Therapist, Resilience Touch Therapist, and EMDR Therapist. She specializes in Sacred Energetics, Integrative Nutrition, Somatic Regulation, and all things trauma- and attachment-related. 

Natalie is currently full, and her waitlist is closed. Her team is hand-picked, incredible, and has current openings. Inquire here to be matched!