What Does Online Therapy for Couples Look Like?

Online therapy for couples works much like in-person couples counseling, but it happens over video calls! Both online and in-person therapy are effective for couples, but there are some key differences to take a closer look at.

Couples therapy is a structured space where both partners meet virtually or in person with a therapist. Together, they work on relationship challenges and ruptures. Many people have found that couples therapy can improve communication and deepen emotional connection.

What Happens in Online Couples Therapy?

It's no secret that therapy can be intimidating to start. I believe this is because few people have a good understanding of how it starts and what it entails. When we are talking about couples therapy online, things get a little more specific. Realistically, you will start with a discovery call and get set up with a therapist you feel is a good fit for your needs. From there, the initial appointment will be mostly catching your therapist up on what you are facing in the relationship, as well as what you are looking to gain from couples therapy. You will also be establishing a base for future appointments, your history as a couple and as individuals, and exploring treatment goals.

One thing to consider is whether you're joining from the same location (same screen) or separate locations and separate screens. Both are great options; either way, you want to be in tune with how you set up your surroundings. If on the same screen, you can choose a comfortable location with a place for both of you to sit together. Place the device in a spot where both parties are visible. I would have some tissues nearby just in case;) Maybe a candle, along with some water, or a favorite drink on hand. A notebook or journal is also handy when learning better ways to relate or strategies to heal.

Ideally, the setup would be similar for meetings on separate screens.

It's important you're comfortable in the space to get the most out of a virtual session. Couples sessions can last anywhere from 50-90 minutes to a few hours if you want an intensive. Typically, you would meet weekly or every other week to start. We like a model that puts longer sessions or weekly sessions at the beginning to get the couple relief faster (triage level of care), and then we spread out sessions as we work on healing and fine-tuning dynamics.

Therapists will help facilitate discussions, offer specific and useful tools, as well as help navigate conflict or emotional disconnection. In each session, your therapist helps you explore patterns in your relationship, build healthier communication habits, and learn tools to manage conflict with more understanding and less reactivity. Whether you're facing a specific challenge or simply want to invest in your relationship’s health, therapy can be a valuable step.

Homework between sessions can also be expected.

Don't worry; it's not like homework you would typically get while in school. Therapy homework is my favorite kind because you can see the results of your work as you are investing. A good example would be practicing skills like active listening. I'm sure you've said to yourself before, “They don't listen." It could be you have a hard time listening to your partner in a real way, like how you did at the beginning of the relationship.

Couples therapy, whether online or in person, can teach you exactly how to listen in a way that's gratifying to yourself and the relationship. Practicing this freshly taught skill would be the “homework”. Don't worry if you're already an amazing listener, this is just one of the many skills therapists can teach us.

What You Need for Online Couples Therapy

• A quiet, private space: Although it may seem obvious, one of the vital aspects of couples therapy is vulnerability. If you don't have privacy or feel tense in the space you chose to meet in, this can affect your ability to be vulnerable, whether you mean it to or not. To get the most out of every online couples therapy session, it is vital to feel at ease in the chosen meeting space.

• A stable internet connection: A classic for a reason. There is nothing like finally hearing some life-changing words and getting in a groove with your therapist and having the signal cut out. Set yourself up for success and check your internet before starting a session. If you have splotchy service, don't let this discourage you. As someone with chronically bad service, I know there are some great, cost-effective options for improving Internet speed if online therapy is what you need.

• A computer, tablet, or phone with a camera/mic: Don't be nervous about using your Phone! It's so normal, and I'm sure we are all used to casual video chats on our smartphones, which adds a level of comfort. If you're someone who appreciates a good background, absolutely go for it and make it your own. Maybe bring a notebook if you feel like jotting down things that stick with you. Pour a cup of tea and turn the mood light on. There is no “correct device” or setup. Follow your heart and go with what works for you.

• Headphones (for clarity and privacy): This is absolutely a preference. There are lots of options, including Bluetooth and split headphones, if the couple is using one screen. If you do choose to meet from separate locations, headphones might fall into that quiet, private space for you. Don't worry if this isn't an option for you.

Is Online Couples Therapy For Me?

The coolest thing about virtual therapy for couples is how perfect it is for long-distance couples. If you are in a long-distance relationship and are struggling with the ups and downs that come with that, online couples therapy is perfect for you. As someone who has watched way too many rom-coms, I love how long-distance relationships can be so romantic and unique. There is absolutely a space for these relationships in therapy. Therapy has helped couples achieve better communication, deeper connections, and even basic conflict resolution. This can be relationship-changing. The fact that this kind of therapy is so much more accessible with online platforms is incredibly beneficial to people in relationships.

Online couples therapy is not just for long-distance relationships. Some couples might be in the thick of it and prefer to have some physical space when discussing hard topics. Meeting online might feel a little lighter and easier to be open and honest with your therapist and partner. Another reason to meet virtually could just be convenience. When working with three schedules (couple's and therapist’s), depending on lifestyle, it can be hard to pinpoint a weekly or even bi-weekly time to meet physically. Meeting online allows for more flexibility and less gas and driving time.

Whether online or in person, couples therapy can be incredibly beneficial to the individual person as well as the relationship.

If you were unsure about the quality being the same online, I hope I was able to bring some clarity. At the core of it, couples therapy is about coming together because the desire for change is present. When the desire for change is present, whether online or in person, doing something about it is powerful.

Relationships can be one of the most rewarding—and sometimes challenging—parts of our lives. Whether you're navigating communication issues and life transitions. It could be that you want to deepen your connection, couples therapy can offer a supportive space to grow together.

Online couples therapy brings all the benefits of traditional therapy directly into your home. Through secure video sessions, partners can meet with a licensed therapist from anywhere, eliminating travel time and allowing for more scheduling flexibility. It’s especially helpful for couples with busy lives or long-distance relationships.

In each session, your therapist helps you explore patterns in your relationship.

You will build healthier communication habits and learn tools to manage conflict with more understanding and less reactivity. Whether you're facing a specific challenge or simply want to invest in your relationship’s health, therapy can be a valuable step.

Some couples worry that the virtual setting might feel impersonal, but many find that being in a familiar environment actually helps them open up more freely. The key is a secure, consistent space where both partners feel heard and respected.

Online couples therapy offers a convenient, effective path toward greater connection. If you’ve been considering it, now is a great time to take that first step.

Start Couples Therapy in California

Take advantage of being able to work on your relationship with trained couples therapists and get the change you crave in your relationships. We are here to help! You can start your therapy journey with the Compass Healing Project by following these steps:

1. Fill out this appointment inquiry form and get matched today!

2. Meet with a caring therapist from our team

3. Start improving the health of your relationship!

Other Services Offered with Compass Healing Project

At Compass Healing Project, we take a holistic approach to therapy, using a range of modalities to support various mental health needs. In addition to couples therapy, we can help reclaim your nervous system with somatic therapy. We also offer EMDR, Clinical Sexology, hypnotherapy, ketamine-assisted therapy, and embodiment practices—each tailored to help with anxiety, depression, PTSD, grief, and sexuality concerns. We also provide support for teens. To learn more about our services, visit our blog or connect with our compassionate therapists in Colorado and California, who specialize in trauma resolution, emotional healing, and integrative therapy to support your journey to well-being.