Trauma can leave lasting impacts on the mind and body, affecting how we respond to stress, relationships, and our own emotions. Whether it’s from past experiences, overwhelming situations, or emotional wounds, trauma has a way of lingering, sometimes shaping patterns in our behavior that we don’t even realize.
One approach that’s been gaining recognition in the healing community is IFS, or Internal Family Systems, also known as “Parts Work”. This therapeutic approach can help people understand and heal deep-rooted trauma by focusing on the different “parts” of themselves.
Let’s explore what IFS is, how it works, and how it can be used to release old patterns, especially those linked to the fight, flight or freeze responses that trauma often triggers.
What is IFS (Parts Work?)
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a psychotherapy model developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. It is based on the idea that we all have different parts or “sub-personalities” within us, each with its own feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. You can think of these parts as different characters in a family, each playing a unique role in our internal world.
In IFS there are three main categories of parts:
Exiles: These parts hold painful memories and emotions, often linked to experiences of trauma. They are often hidden or suppressed because their feelings are too overwhelming or painful to deal with.
Managers: These parts try to keep us safe and manage our day to day life. They tend to be the more functional parts of our personality, but they can become overactive, controlling, or perfectionistic to avoid pain.
Firefighters: These parts come in when the exiled parts get triggered, using extreme or impulsive behavior to distract us from emotional pain. They can show up as addictions, self-sabotage, or other reactions aimed at putting out the emotional fire caused by exiled pain.
The key idea behind IFS is that all parts, no matter how destructive or difficult they may seem, are trying to help in their own way. These parts have good intentions, but sometimes their methods can create unhealthy patterns and feelings of stagnation or frustration. These parts are trying to protect us, but are often stuck in a survival state.
As Richard Schwartz says in his book, No Bad Parts:
“Parts are little inner beings who are trying their best to keep you safe”.
In IFS therapy, the goal is to heal, and integrate these parts, particularly the ones carrying trauma, so that the parts can find balance and work in harmony with the whole self.
How IFS Helps Release Old Patterns of Fight, Flight, or Freeze
When trauma occurs, it can trigger the fight, flight or freeze responses in the body. These are automatic reactions that can be useful in dangerous situations, but when they become stuck or triggered by past trauma, they can create ongoing challenges. IFS helps people to release these patterns by working with the parts themselves that hold onto the trauma. Here’s how it works:
Healing Exiles: Exiles are often stuck in the past, holding onto painful memories and emotions from trauma. These parts may cause the fight, flight or freeze responses because they are trapped in the emotional charge of those events. By accessing and healing the exiled parts through IFS, we can help release the emotional pain that triggers these automatic responses.
Understanding Managers and Firefighters: Managers and firefighters are often the parts of ourselves that try to protect us from emotional pain. A manager may take over to keep us busy and productive, avoiding feelings that may trigger anxiety or fear. A firefighter may use substances or distractions to numb pain. IFS works by helping these parts understand their role and find healthier ways to cope. Once parts know they don’t have to over function or protect us in unhealthy ways, the cycle of fight, flight or freeze responses can diminish.
Connecting with the Self: One of the core principles of IFS is that every person has a “Self,” which is the compassionate, wise and centered part of us. The Self is not impacted by trauma and can help guide the healing process. When people connect with their Self, they’re able to lead their internal system in a way that promotes healing and balance. The Self can help all the parts work together, reducing the intensity of fight, flight or freeze responses.
How Does IFS Work?
IFS is based on the idea that we each have a system of parts that interact with one another, and healing involves accessing these parts in a gentle and compassionate way. Here’s how the process typically works:
Identifying the Parts: In IFS therapy, the first step is often to identify the different parts of yourself. These could be parts that are anxious, scared, sad, angry or controlling. Each part has its own way of thinking, feeling and acting, and part of the process is noticing and understanding these parts, and when and why they show up. You may recognize parts that are defensive, avoidant or reactive based on past experiences. From a somatic perspective, this involves tuning into how each part shows up in the body- whether through sensations, colors, textures, or images to name a few. By noticing where a part shows up physically, we can better identify and connect with the part when it arises.
Building a Relationship with the Parts: IFS isn’t about getting rid of parts; it’s about developing a relationship with them. The therapist helps you connect with your parts, listen to their fears or concerns, and understand their intentions. By acknowledging and validating the parts, you can begin to heal the wounds that they carry.
Working with the Exiles: The exiled parts often hold the deepest emotional pain from past trauma, and healing them is key to overcoming that pain. In IFS Therapy, the therapist will help you gently access these parts, allowing them to fully express the pain they’ve been holding. This process involves giving these parts the space to feel heard, understood and validated in their emotions. The therapist will also guide you to recognize what this part needed in that moment - whether it was safety, love, or belonging - and help you offer that support to the part now. By bringing the care and comfort that was missing in the past to this part in the present, you help heal the wound. Once the emotional pain is fully expressed and acknowledged, it can be released and the exiled part can begin to heal and integrate more fully into the rest of your system.
Integrating the Parts: The ultimate goal in IFS therapy is integration. This means that all parts learn to work together in harmony, with the Self at the center. When the parts are integrated, they are no longer in conflict with each other, and the person can experience greater internal peace.
How to Get Started with IFS
Getting started with IFS is relatively simple, but it’s important to have a trained therapist guide you through the process. There are IFS Informed Therapists (IFS/Parts Work learning) or an IFS Trained Therapist (officially trained by the IFS Institute) Here’s how to begin:
Find an IFS Therapist: The first step is to find a qualified IFS therapist. Look for someone who is trained in the Internal Family Systems model and has experience working with trauma. You can search for therapists online, on https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us, or your healthcare provider may be able to give you a recommendation.
Mallory Burggraaf is going through the official IFS training, while other Compass Healing Project clinicians are "IFS-Informed".
Begin with a Consultation: Many therapists offer initial consultations, which can help you decide if IFS is the right fit for you. During this meeting, the therapist will explain how IFS works and answer any questions you may have.
Start the Work: Once you begin therapy, the process will unfold gradually. Your therapist will help you identify your parts and begin the work of healing. The pace will vary, depending on the complexity of your trauma and the time it takes to understand each part’s role and needs and what they need in order to heal.
Practice Self-Compassion: One of the most important aspects of IFS is learning self compassion. As you uncover painful parts of yourself, it’s essential to approach them with kindness and understanding. The Self is key to healing, and connecting with your inner wisdom will guide you along the journey.
The Process: Online or In Person?
IFS therapy can be done both in person and online, with each option offering unique benefits. Many people find that online therapy is just as effective as in-person therapy, especially given the convenience and accessibility it offers. It allows you to connect with a therapist from the comfort of your home, saving time and making it easier to fit into your schedule. Others prefer being in the same room for therapy sessions, which in-person sessions offer. Ultimately, the choice between in-person and online therapy comes down to your personal preferences and what works best for your needs and lifestyle.
We have clinicians who offer online therapy, and others offer in-person. Mallory Burggraaf, the IFS therapist on our team, is an online therapist for people in Colorado.
Who Benefits from IFS?
IFS is beneficial for anyone dealing with trauma, emotional pain, or internal conflict. It can help people who have:
Experienced childhood trauma
Suffered from anxiety, depression, or PTSD
Been through significant life changes or transitions
Had difficulties in relationships or self-worth
IFS can also be helpful for people who are simply looking to better understand themselves and improve their emotional well-being.
Frequently Asked Questions about IFS
1. How long does IFS therapy take?
The length of IFS therapy varies from person to person. Some people experience significant healing in a few sessions, while others may work through deeper trauma over months or years.
2. Is IFS a type of talk therapy?
While both IFS and traditional talk therapy involve exploring emotions and experiences, IFS has a unique focus on identifying and healing the different parts of yourself. In traditional talk therapy, the focus is often on the narrative and cognitive aspects of your experience, whereas IFS directly engages with the emotional and somatic aspects of your internal system. It’s a more experiential approach that involves connecting with and healing parts of yourself that might not always be accessible through conversation alone.
3. Can I do IFS on my own?
While it’s possible to practice some aspects of IFS on your own, it’s highly recommended to work with a trained therapist, especially when dealing with trauma. A therapist can guide you safely through the process and help you make sense of your parts.
Conclusion
IFS (Parts Work) is a powerful tool for healing trauma, especially when you consider its somatic perspective. It helps people uncover, understand and heal the parts of themselves that hold on to past pain, enabling them to release patterns of fight, flight or freeze. Whether you’re dealing with trauma, anxiety or simply seeking personal growth, IFS offers a compassionate and transformative approach. By learning to work with your internal parts, you can create a more harmonious and healed self. If you’re ready to start, find a qualified IFS therapist and begin the journey to understanding and healing your inner world.
Mallory Burggraaf
Hi! My practice as an Integrative Somatic Therapist is centered around healing attachment, relationship to self, and trauma healing. In my work with individuals, I utilize parts work, somatic experiencing, early developmental attachment repair and inner child healing.
I work Online in Colorado and have openings for people who want to work on healing their relationships with themselves, with others, and their trauma.
Contact me for a free Discovery Call
About us
Compass Healing Project is in California (in-person in San Diego and Online Therapy statewide) and Colorado (in-person Golden and Online Therapy statewide). We offer free discovery calls where we explore whether IFS (parts work) is a good fit for you. We have top-of-the-line modalities like Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, Couples therapy, Ketamine, and Hypnotherapy too.
Fill out our discovery call inquiry form and get matched today!
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